I think I will get married again soon ...

... or "Ewwwwww, Gross."

Okay, as many of you know, in the course of my relationship with Kevin, I handled most of the grown-up stuff - finances, planning, legal stuff, slaughtering the Jurassic Park sized spiders that gave him the creeps. Kev handled a lot of the fun stuff, with one exception. He took care of the gross stuff. Not the, "Oops, the baby stinks," stuff (though he did do his share of that. I'm talking about the really disgusting stuff, like mice in the garage. No, this is not about mice. You know this, because if it were, I would have called each and every one of you to come deal with it before wasting any time on this blog. I have a deathly fear of rodents. It's a problem, I know. I'm working on it. I'm going to grad school just to figure out why. ;)

No, this is about a bird (a rat with wings, so not much different than a mouse). To be more accurate, it's actually about pieces of a bird. It would seem that my monster of a deck (it is quite large) is so big that it interrupts the flight pattern of the birds of Beavercreek. Erin, if you had your bird guide, you could help me identify the pieces. Yes, the pieces.

I went to let the dog out and she was distracted by something so I followed to investigate. First, I saw the feathers. And then more feathers. And still even more feathers. Then streaks of blood across the handrail of the deck. The other pieces were scattered in the backyard.

Yes, I shrieked like a little girl, gagged and ran in the house. No, I haven't cleaned it up. I'm still trying to suppress the queasiness to tackle it.

So, I'm thinking of getting married again just to have some other grown up here to clean up the gross stuff. Wait a minute - I have a kid. Maddie has a new chore. :)